Lost Dreams
by Kat Lee formerly Pirate Turner
Summary: Wolverine tracks Ororo in the home she shares with T'Challa and finally hears what he's been longing to. Alas, Ororo's admission may only complicate their matters of the heart. Het.


Title: "Lost Dreams"  
Author: Pirate Turner  
Rating: R  
Summary: Wolverine tracks Ororo in the home she shares with T'Challa and finally hears what he's been longing to. Alas, Ororo's admission may only complicate their matters of the heart.  
Warnings: Het  
Spoilers: References to Ororo's marriage to T'Challa and departure from the X-Men  
Word Count (excluding heading): 2,001  
Disclaimer: Ororo "Storm" Munroe, Logan/Wolverine, T'Challa, and the X-Men are & TM Marvel comics and Disney, not the author, and are used without permission. Everything else is & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

"Goddess, I am so tired!" She was not aware that she was speaking aloud until the whisper had barely left her soft lips. Ororo hung her head in shame, and her delicate, light brown hands closed tightly around the balcony's railing. Wisps of a song played through her mind as she thought of the one she loved but could never be with. "It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do," she sang softly.

Thunder rolled in the night sky. Lightning flashed, and rain began to fall gently upon the hungry land. "I never thought I'd be in this position, Bright Lady, of having to pretend to love one man when my heart belongs to another."

He moved from the shadows with silent stealth to drop down behind her. "I been waitin' ta hear ya say that, 'Ro."

Ororo whirled around, her hand instinctively flying to cover the tops of her chocolate breasts which peeked out from her gown. "Logan!" she cried. The handsome face which had once always been a welcome pleasure to see now made her heart pound and her breath quicken with fear. If he said the right words, she knew she would topple, but she could not afford to fail people who depended on her yet again.

He grinned at her and wished he had a cigar to chew on. "Ya used to know when I was around, darlin'."

How could she tell when he was actually there when she felt him everywhere? In every stirring of every breeze, in every call of every animal, in every cry of nature, she felt him and ached all the more from being away from the real man himself until some nights, like tonight, the pain in her heart became so blinding that it threatened to overwhelm all else.

When she remained silently staring at him through beautiful, blue eyes widened and rounded by fear, Logan moved closer. His fingers burned with his need to touch her, but he forced himself to rein in his bestial instincts. She was the woman he loved and, as such, should be his mate. He trembled with the need to take her, make her his, and rip apart the man who had dared to touch her and slide his ring onto her slender finger. He wanted to grab her and pull her to him, to kiss her senseless, to ravish her in every sense of the word, but instead he reached out and gently took her hands in his. "I hear yer heart beatin', 'Ro. It's poundin', cryin' ta be free . . . "

"It is free."

"Ya never were a good liar, luv, even when ya were lyin' ta yaself." He released one of her hands and raised his empty hand to reverently touch her cheek. The breeze around them picked up as he slowly drew his thumb across her soft, satiny skin. Her blue eyes drifted closed as she shuddered in ecstasy. "We can not do this, Logan."

"Do what, darlin'?" he asked with an impish grin. "I'm a friend touchin' a friend."

"It is hard to remember a time," she spoke hesitantly, "when you were only a friend." He was silent, and she opened her eyes slowly, fearing how he would take her revelation.

His dark eyes were as stormy as the clouds on the darkest of days, and she instantly ached to chase away his pain. Yet, at the same time, she knew she was the cause of his pain and there was little, if indeed anything at all, she could do to ease it. "Why didn't ya tell me?" he asked, his voice hushed and roughened by the emotions that broiled within him.

She could feel his anguish, sorrow, and confusion bubbling just underneath his skin where his hand had stilled upon her face; he felt like a volcano about to erupt. Part of her feared the unleashment of that volcano while another part of her wished with all her heart that he would release his private storm upon her. Her insides quivered with the mere thought of Logan unleashing all his pent-up energies upon her willing form. Again she reminded herself that they could not do such as she answered his question with a question of her own, "Why did you not ask me?"

He caressed her face lovingly though his eyes remained sad. "Figured a Goddess like you could never love an animal like me."

His words shocked her and sent waves of surprise, pleasure, compassion, and sorrow crashing through her soul. She had known that he thought of his berserker side as a senseless, raging beast, but she'd never expected that he had always had such an opinion of himself.

"What right," he asked gruffly, "does a lowly animal have to reach for a Goddess who outshines all the stars in th' sky?"

"Every right," she cried, "but, Logan, you are so much more than an animal!" Her hand touched the hand that caressed her face, and her eyes shone with the emotions of her heart.

"What am I, 'Ro? Tell me," he pleaded, his eyes shimmering as they bore through her eyes to her very essence. "Tell me what I am, what I'm not, what I lack, what he has that I don't, why he has yer heart!"

The tears she saw glistening in his eyes moved her so that she could stand it no more. She had to tell him the truth. She hung her head again in shame as she whispered, "He does not." The night breeze softened until it was a bare wisp coiling ever so slightly around them.

Logan drew his head back slightly and looked at her in shock. His hand lingered upon her cheek and underneath her hand, reluctant to break the first real connection he'd had with her in years. The fingers of his other hand unconsciously tightened their grip on her hand. "You wear his ring -- when it should be mine."

Her eyes flew open; her head tilted to gaze back into his eyes. "It would have been," she declared, "if you had only ever asked."

"Would it?" he questioned doubtfully.

"Yes!" The rain slanted, striking the wall of the balcony with her cry.

"But you chose him," he stated, fighting to keep his instinct to growl his frustrations at bay. "You left me -- us -- for him!"

She sighed deeply as reasons tumbled through her mind, but only one still made sense. "My people needed me."

"We still do!" His exclamation ended on a growl.

Tears now glimmered in her eyes as well. "Do you? When I left, Logan, no one seemed to care. You were all happy for me."

"It was an act, babe. We wanted you to be happy so we put on the masks." His eyes pleaded urgently with hers. "We're fallin' apart wit'out ya, 'Ro!"

Thunder roared as she breathed, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," he begged. "Just come home."

"I can't."

"You can."

"No, Logan, I can not!" Ororo cried, lifting her ebony chin a little higher. The winds howled with her cry. Her blue eyes blazed with the reflection of the lightning and the truth of her words and spirit. "Goddess knows I wish I could, -- I wish anything in my life, for just once, could be that simple again, -- but I can not for I am honor bound to my people and to the man whose invitation to be his Queen and help our people to achieve a brighter tomorrow I accepted when I saw no other offering of a bright future. I am honor bound to be here, Logan, and so it is here I must stay, my friend."

"Friend?" he repeated, his hurt obvious in every part of him, from his face and eyes to the sound of his voice and to the very breath of being she felt exuding from him. "What happened ta being more?"

"We can not be," she replied, "though it pains my soul to no end to deny its other half."

His head had dropped at the first words of her answer, but now it sprang back up, renewed life and hope shining in his dark eyes. His mouth opened to speak, but she rushed on purposefully, fearful that he might say something that would break her fragile restraint. All she really wanted to do right now was to fall into his arms, let him hold her, and kiss her and shower her with all his love until there came a day when the sun would not rise again, and even then, keep loving her until they had witnessed the moon's final descent in each other's arms, but by the Bright Lady, she knew she could not! She had given her word, and, come what may, no matter how much it pained her heart and destroyed her soul to do so, she must keep her word and stand by the vows she had made!

"Regardless of whether my heart or soul is involved in our union, I must stay with my husband for it is to him and our people that I have given my most solemn vow, and I will not -- must not -- break it for if I do, my word becomes worthless and, with it, my actions, all that I stand for, become meaningless! Then I would not be worthy of the trust or love you have placed in me, ke ma rocky."

His palm brushed her jawline; his hand caressed her cheek one more time. His other hand squeezed hers for what he feared might be the last. "I understand," he told her, and his eyes showed her that he spoke no lie, "but remember this, too, little darlin'. You may be helping the people o' your homeland, but you've got another people. We'll be waitin'."

He leaned forward. Her wide eyes searched his for some sign of what he was about. He kissed her before she could pull away. He forced himself to keep their kiss short and chaste and to pull away as quickly as he had moved in. "I'll be waitin'," he promised her, "an' this time I'll ask an' not take no for an answer."

They were still gazing into one another's eyes when they heard her bedroom door open. Logan did not speak another word for he had said all there was that could be said for the time being. He knew now that she was hurting as terribly as he and would not add to her pain by telling her the words he longed to say and hear repeated back to him from her supple and luscious lips, but that would complicate matters even more.

Ororo's breath caught in dreadful anxiety as they heard T'Challa moving about her bedroom, but Logan smiled reassuringly at her, released her from his touch with one last gentle squeeze upon her hand, walked away from her, and jumped off of the balcony.

Ororo gasped and whirled around. She was still searching the darkness for him when T'Challa stepped onto the balcony. He walked to her and pulled her into his arms from behind. "What are you searching for, my wife?" he questioned.

Her voice was still sad as she answered, "Lost dreams."

He squeezed her gently. "We shall find them together."

{No!} she cried inwardly. {We will not for it is your and my own foolishness that have caused me to lose my dreams and you can never replace them!} She remained silent, however, and let him hold her as she longed for another man, that wild and primitive being who fulfilled her soul as no other ever could and whom she could still hear in the call of the night and smell on the wind. She heard his words in her head, telling her that he would be waiting, and longed with all her being for time to speed on until she was somehow released from the bonds that held her and could go to him for only with Logan could she find completeness, joy, and love. Only with her beloved Logan would she ever be whole.

**The End**

Author's Note: If you enjoyed this story, or any of my other writings, I hope you'll consider joining my friends and I at a brand new fan fic/art site we're creating called Ficcers Unite. We welcome all fandoms, pairings (slash and het), and even no pairings at all, and we'll also be RPing a world where Disney and Marvel comes together in one universe. Come on over and check us out at ficcersuniteDOTproboardsDOTcom today!


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